By Alexandria Anderson
School is out and with summer on the brain, many families have already started planning summer activities. Activities where kids can engage with their family, friends and trusted adults are very important to youth development and can be the key to preventing early and persistent negative behavior.
There is a difference between kids wanting to spend some time alone two or three times a week and antisocial behavior. Antisocial behavior comes with feelings of isolation and loneliness that ultimately leads to a lack of interaction with anyone. Kids who persistently avoid participating in school activities, family activities or hanging out with friends are at risk of engaging in problem behavior. Some of those problem behaviors include substance use, school dropout, depression and anxiety. So, as your family is planning summer activities here are a few things to keep in mind.
Family activities are important and will allow kids to build memories and relationships with family members and friendships are also important. Family activities can seem less like an opportunity and more like a chore to kids if they have no say in the process of planning the activity. Allowing your kids to pick the next movie at movie night or the next meal at family dinner helps them feel more connected to the activity and more willing to participate. Family activities don’t have to involve every family member. Allowing your kids to do activities together without parents present also strengthens family bonds and further encourages kids to participate in family activities, especially among teens. Additionally, having kids get one-on-one time with each parent will not only help strengthen your bond with your kids, but will also strengthen the family bond.
Family bonding is not the only type of bonding that should take place this summer. This means parents have to be careful to not plan every moment of their kids’ summer. Allow kids to plan activities for themselves as well. Allowing kids to plan some of their own activities with their friends instills a sense of independence and responsibility. Often, parents can be apprehensive about allowing their kids to hang out with friends, but it is crucial to a kid’s development that they interact with their peers in and out of school. Having good friends and a safe environment to hang out is a great start to preventing early and persistent negative behavior.
Summer is the perfect time to encourage your kids to get out and get involved. Getting involved can mean anything from church activities to regular game nights with friends, while making sure they’re in a safe environment. To make sure your kids are in a safe environment, start by knowing who they are with and where they are. Even just having a group chat with the parents of your kid’s friends so that y’all can share information allows for you to check up on your kids and any plans they make. Allowing your kids the space to build and grow friendships doesn’t mean parents have to be clueless about the whereabouts of their kids.
This summer, as a trusted adult or a parent, consider offering your home as a safe place where your kids and their friends can hangout. If you find that your kid is displaying early and persistent negative behavior, start this summer with some small, planned activities that align with your kids’ interests. Then, down the line, encourage them to plan activities with their friends or allow them to pick the next activities the family does together.